Merger

I just read my last 2 blogs and it made me smile. In "The way I am" I can just see how the Lord was truly preparing me for the next few months... for the truth He was about to allow to consume me. So, then we get to "Blessings overflow-ing" and see a lot about God speaking and moving and freeing... seems like God made a promise to me in "The way I am"... and completely followed through in "Blessings overflow-ing"... so lets further this bookooe'd out blessing list... per say.

Freedom is a funny thing... because I struggle with the concept that everyone deserves it but me, and i've always deemed that as humility... but that so far from that... thats insecurity... thats not being OK with who God has made me as. I've always allowed my short comings and failures keep me from the Lord... like if i ever screwed up in a situation, I was too ashamed to go to God about it. I was already forgiven from it... but there's something about physically telling God, "Dude, no more. Im sorry and I'm not going back to that mess. Thank you for saving me", that kicks your heart in.

I'm at a stage where I hate being comfortable... and I never am, so it seems like a lose lose situation.. and maybe it is to some... but it forces in to two positions... either sit and mope and hate everything or get up and move, or should i say, get up, get out of the way, and let God move.

I just wanted to throw all that together... the Lord has been good.
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Todays Halloween. I dressed up like a hipster gorilla last night... and still lost the costume competition.... biased hormone filled men. Oh well. Tonight is Renovatus' fall festival... I'm pretty excited for this. I love my church, my family, my brothers and sisters, my teachers. I just wanna carve pumpkins.... lies... i just wanna see my breath next to a camp fire while singing songs... lies... I wanna be close to someone. This time of year is amazing, and romantic. I'm not going to far in to this because its not meant to be a pity party, there's freedom in it. Yes, it is hard being 24 and single, yes, it does make you question yourself in a lot of areas, but I feel the Lords hand moving in this (and everything else in my life). My goal this season was NOT to get a girlfriend but to grow closer with the Lord and have fun with investing in people. Thats a first. The past few years, this season made me want to just find someone to take home to the parent and grandparents... now, as nice as that would be, I want this season to be just me and my family... no distractions. But the Lord can bring a hottie next year if he wants ;)

Enjoy your Halloween you weenies. Much love. Be blessed.